Flawed
by 2three.abi
Summary: After three failed suicide attempts, Jude finally decides to get his daughter admitted to one of Fiore's largest hospitals. AU, friendship, slight romance, dark themes. Rating now changed to M.
1. Lucy

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing but this story.

 **Warnings:** dark themes, typos and grammar errors

* * *

 _ **We kill flowers because we think they are beautiful.  
We kill ourselves because we think we are not.**_

* * *

 ** _Lucy Heartfilia_**

She let out a groan before opening her eyes.

The amount of light in the room almost blinded her, and she had to blink her eyes a couple of times to adjust with the surroundings. The ceiling was also painted white, but as far as Lucy remembered, the ceiling inside her room was pink.

Where was she?

She groaned once again and attempted to swallow, when she felt something lodged into her throat.

Suddenly, the doors opened and people dressed in white came checking her vitals and the IV bag on the side of the bed on which she was lying on.

"You gave us quite a scare last night, young lady," the man on her right side said, his balding head shining with light. She would have snickered if she could, but the woman―a nurse, Lucy guessed―on her right was carefully removing the tube that was lodged down her throat. She could feel it rubbing against her esophagus, she knew it sounded weird, but that was what it felt like. The also felt like retching when the nurse finally pulled the tube out of her mouth.

"Your throat might feel scratchy for a couple of days, Miss Heartfilia, but don't worry. That's normal with patients that had their stomach pumped and also those who needed help with their breathing," the doctor continued as the nurse finished cleaning up beside her bed. "Also, I've talked to your father an hour ago before you woke up. I suggested that you stay in our special ward for a few weeks for observation―"

"S-Special ward?" Lucy croaked. As she guessed earlier, her throat felt rough and she let out a cough or two to relieve herself of the scratchy feeling.

"Yes, Miss Heartfilia. We have a special ward here in the hospital for people who are, let's say, _mentally challenged_ ―"

"No!" she shouted. She didn't care if her throat hurt, or even if it bled. "I'm not crazy!"

"I'm not saying that you are, Miss Heartfilia. I'm just saying that you need some help since this isn't the first time that you tried to―"

"No!" the blonde shouted once again. There was no way she's getting back down without a fight. "Where's my father?! I can't believe he agreed into something like this―!"

"I'm afraid that your father had left after I talked with him."

 _Ha. Of fucking course._

Lucy didn't feel a little bit bad after hearing what the doctor had told her. She kind of expected that in a way.

* * *

Lucy stared into space. She had been staying in the hospital for four days now, that was, if one would count the days in which she was unconscious. The blonde was bored, to say the least. She was allowed to roam around the hospital and go outside the gardens for a walk, but aside from that, she really couldn't do anything else. She didn't like watching TV though, and the remote lied on the bedside table, forgotten. Not to mention that hospital food tasted like crap.

Ugh. She badly wanted to go home, lock herself inside her room and hurt herself again.

She had tried to drown herself in her rather large bath tub the first time she tried to take her own life. Her personal maid, Virgo, had come and rescued her after a few minutes of being submerged in the water.

The second time, she had purposely cut her wrists too deeply. She had cut herself before,she cuts herself occasionally or when she feels like it, but at that time, negative thoughts were consuming her and she needed a way to make it to stop. That time like her first attempt, Virgo came inside her room, finding the blonde bathing in her own blood.

And four days―five days, technically―ago was her third suicide attempt. She took half a bottle of sleeping pills, and fortunately, or unfortunately for the blonde, she had failed once again. This time though, it wasn't Virgo who found her, but her own father, who was about to tell her something important, Lucy concluded.

(Because why would her father talk to her if it wasn't important?)

And without hesitation, Jude Heartfilia rushed his dying daughter to the hospital.

These past days though, she hadn't talked or even seen her father. Loke, her personal driver, who came with Virgo two days ago to the hospital to look after her, told her that her father was away for a business trip. And that he was worried for her well-being.

Lucy almost laughed at that thought. She begged to differ. Jude Heartfilia was known in the business world for being stoic and not caring for anyone, which included his own daughter, ever since Layla Heartfilia had died.

"I have brought some of your clothes from home for your temporary stay here, _hime_ ," Virgo said, snapping the blonde out of her thoughts. "I had also packed your journal, along with some of your favorite books."

She smiled. Virgo knew her so well. "Thank you, Virgo. Did you bring my favorite pens, too?"

"No, I forgot to get them inside your drawer. I'm sorry, _hime_. Punish me?"

Shaking her head, Lucy let out a small smile. "No. It's fine, Virgo. You can just go and buy me pens? I'm sure there's a stationary shop near here."

"Roger that, _hime_."

* * *

The blonde had decided to take a walk around the hospital once again. She was walking through that part of the garden near the greenhouse when she felt a tap on her shoulder.

"Yes?" she asked, before turning around. She found herself looking at probably one of the most beautiful women that she ever saw in her life, aside from her mother, of course.

The girl, she may be a year or two older than her, had bright red hair. Her fringe was almost covering her right eye and she was holding a bunch of roses in one hand and a pair of shears in the other.

Lucy felt her fingers tingle at the sight of the shears in front of her. The blonde made a fist, clenching her hands until her knuckles turned white and resisting the urge to wrestle the shears out from the redhead's grip.

"You're not allowed in here," she then heard the redhead say. "You need special permission from the hospital head to get in here."

 _Is she a patient here in the hospital? She doesn't look sick though._

The blonde frowned. "Oh, I'm sorry. I'm going now," she said, before running―she tried to at least― and pulling her IV stand with her to the direction of her room.

Virgo was inside her room when she returned. The maid had a small paper bag with her and Lucy couldn't help but feel excited as she took it and look at its contents.

"Oh, you bought them! Thank you so much, Virgo!"

"You're welcome, _hime_. And I'm sorry I was late. There was a commotion in the nurses' station. Punish me?"

"It's okay, Virgo. And thank you for buying me these notebooks. You seriously didn't have to."

"Oh," the pink-haired maid said, visibly dejected at her utter rejection for some disciplinary actions. "And it's nothing, _hime_. I was told that you will be staying here at the hospital for a while so we decided to get you something to keep you entertained. And it's just not me who got you these. The other guys also chipped in."

She thanked Virgo once again, before telling the maid her gratitude to the others. The blonde busied herself with the pens Virgo had bought her. As much as she loved writing, she also loved collecting pens and some notebooks.

She put her earphones on, and turned the iPod Virgo had brought for her before picking up a pen. She then opened her new notebook and began to write.

She had made a habit of putting all her dark thoughts on paper in order not to be consumed by them. It was too loud inside her head and somehow, Lucy knew she needed a way to release them.

She wrote about her dreams, but mostly her nightmares, her fears and anxieties. She wrote to her deceased mother, wrote the hate she had for his never present father and the people around her who didn't seem to understand the need for her to hate and hurt herself.

 _Dear dad,_

 _Hello. How are you doing?_

 _I realized one thing when I started writing this letter. It has been so long since I called you dad, or anything for that matter, and it seems so awkward. We haven't talked in a while, and though we lived under the same roof, we rarely see each other. You are always busy with your work and I… well, I'm always inside my room._

 _I knew it was hard for you, when mom died, but it was hard for me, too. I was young and you're all that was left when cancer took mom from us years ago. But it seems like you haven't realized that until know. And it hurts, because somehow, when my mother died, I felt like I've lost my father, too._

 _Did you know? There are days I wanted to kill myself. And when I was on process of cutting myself a little too deeply, I think of you. I think of what you'll think when you find out I'm gone. Will you be happy? Relieved? Sad maybe? I don't know, because we don't talk much. And I hope we do._

 _I don't need the material things you provide, dad. I don't need a big house, I don't need servants. I need you. I need my father. All I ask is an hour everyday with you, talking about ourselves, about anything. You know the thing we used to do when you go home from work when mom was still alive? The three of us would sit on our living room floor eating junk foods and ice cream and we would tell each other about our day. I miss that, dad. And I miss you._

Droplets of tears blurred some words, but Lucy continued writing. She would add this letter to her collection of the 'letters to her dad that she would not let him read'.

She wrote and wrote, until her hand hurt and she couldn't write anymore.

* * *

"I will miss you, my princess," Loke said, grasping her hand in his before placing a kiss on it. "I will miss seeing your beautiful face every day―!"

"Oh, shush it, Loke! Lucy will only be gone for a few weeks. Right, Lucy?"

"Heh. Weren't you crying last night, Aqua? You were telling me you're going to miss Lucy―"

"S-Shut up, Loke!"

The blonde couldn't help but giggle at the sight in front of her.

"Wow," the orange-haired man mused.

"What is it, Loke?"

"Nothing. It's just... it's been a while since I heard that from you, Lucy. I... I kind of miss it."

Lucy bit her lower lip. "I-I'm sorry―"

"Why are you even sorry for?" Aquarius asked as she clicked loudly her tongue. "You don't have to apologize, Lucy. Just... just focus on getting better, okay?"

The blue-haired woman's voice softened and Lucy couldn't help but tear up and hug the woman. "O-Oi!"

"I'm going to miss you all!"

"It will only be for a few weeks, Lucy. You'll see us again soon."

"I know that, Loke, but―"

"We're here," Aquarius announced when they reached the room assigned under Lucy's name.

"I still don't get why I have to stay here," the blonde mumbled under her breath. Tears were slowly forming in her eyes.

"You need help, Lucy. The doctor said so."

"I don't need help, Loke! I'm not crazy!"

"We know that," the blue-haired woman interjected. "But you need to get better. And staying here will help you. The doctors and nurses here will help you. Maybe you can meet new friends―"

"I doubt that. I don't make friends with crazy people."

"What do you call Loke then?"

"Oi!"

The blonde sniffed before letting out a small laugh. "I guess. Thanks for cheering me up, Aqua."

"Oi, Lucy! Why are you agreeing with this woman―"

"Don't get used to this. I'll be drilling you with lessons once you get home. Do you understand, Lucy?"

With a nod and a brief hug, Loke and Aquarius left.

* * *

The blonde fidgeted. She had been standing in front of the door for almost ten minutes now.

What if her roommate didn't like her? What if she didn't like her roommate?

Ugh. Lucy didn't get why she had to room with someone. Could her father use his connections and get her a better room to stay in?

Oh well.

With a brief surge of courage, she opened the door and went in. Only to find a redhead she met yesterday, sitting on the edge of the bed near the wide windows. Like yesterday, she was holding a bunch of roses in her hands.

Lucy let out a cough to get the redhead's attention. "Hi," she then said. "I'm Lucy. Your new roommate."

The girl stared at her before walking the table beside the bed she was sitting on earlier and placing the flowers in the vase. "I heard. I'm Erza Sca― Erza. Just Erza."

"Okay," Lucy said bewildered at Erza's reaction. So she was a stay-in patient here? Maybe that was the reason she was allowed inside the greenhouse.

The blonde was going to ask the Erza about something when she heard the redhead count the flowers inside the vase.

"One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine."

Lucy could only stare as the redhead repeatedly did that and continued to arrange and re-arrange the flowers over and over again until she was satisfied.

"One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine. Hmm. Perfect."

* * *

That night, when she couldn't sleep, she picked her favorite pen up and opened her journal. She then began writing.

 _she sings lullabies underwater and puts seashells on her golden hair._

 _she talks to fishes, to different marine creatures, in a language no one can understand._

 _she makes waves that flutter like heartbeats as they strike the shore before she pulls them back, as if the water is a part of her._

 _she sees the light through the spaces between her fingers and she longs to touch it, but she always_ ―always― _fails._

 _most of the times, her screams of sorrow and loneliness rise like bubbles before they pop into nothingness, and no one can hear the muffled noises. no one, not even her._

 _this is the world inside her head._

* * *

 **A/N:** Hello, everyone who dared to read this fic lol. This fic is just an experiment OTL I read a post on tumblr and this idea had been bugging me since so I decided to write it. Each chapter will be about one character and their stories. I've been researching a lot for this fic haha and loool I must say the articles I've read so far seem pretty interesting ^^

 **Next chapter: Erza Scarlet**

 _"Why don't you have roses with you?"_

 _She looked at the blonde for a few seconds. "There were only six roses left."_

 _Lucy frowned. "You can get them anyway? You know, it seems odd not to see flowers by your bed. It somehow... adds color to this room."_

 _The redhead couldn't help but mentally agree with her roommate. With a sigh, Erza shook her head before answering. "I can't. Six is not nine. Six roses will never do."_

Review? :)


	2. Erza

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing but this story.

 **Warnings:** dark themes, typos and grammar errors

* * *

 _ **"Sometimes your belief system is really your fears attached to rules." ― Shannon L. Alder**_

* * *

 ** _Erza Scarlet_**

Erza had heard from her adopted parent, Dr. Makarov Dreyar, who was also the head doctor of the psych ward, that she would be having a new roommate by tomorrow.

She knew that the old man wanted her to meet new friends by assigning her a new roommate every time he gets the chance, but it wasn't her fault that all those people couldn't even last a week living with her.

Okay, maybe it was _partly_ her fault, with her penchant for cleanliness and order. But Erza also couldn't help it. She couldn't help it when she gets pissed off when someone forgets to wipe the bathroom floor after they had taken a shower, or when someone had left the bathroom door ajar every night before going to bed. She couldn't help that she had to listen to some show tunes for exactly an hour before sleeping. She just simply couldn't help who she was.

Erza was diagnosed with obsessive-compulsive disorder or best known as OCD when she was still a child. Her right eye was also blind, due to some…procedures done in the place she was rescued in. She was rescued from a syndicate associated with human trafficking and slavery when she was six years old and Makarov Dreyar was assigned to her as a psychologist during her debriefing period. The old man took a pity on her and adopted her, giving the redhead all the things she needed. The girl insisted on keeping her last name though, and the old man was forced to agree. He would do anything just to make the little girl happy.

It was until later that Makarov had noticed Erza's habits of counting things repeatedly after finally learning how to count. The redhead would only be satisfied after organizing and counting her crayons eight times. She would only go to bed after taking a bath three times, scrubbing her arms and leg until they turn red. She would pick nine red roses from his late wife's garden every day. And the list went on and on.

Few months had passed and Makarov had finally reached into a decision. He would treat and help Erza recover and move on with her life.

And so, the special ward in the Fairy Tail Medical Hospital was established.

Erza had undergone behavioral therapy, but the child was so traumatized and broken, that she rejected the treatment. She went on doing the things that calmed her, continued to count things over and over again until she was satisfied.

The old man could only imagine the hell Erza had gone through to be traumatized that way.

* * *

The redhead was seated on the edge of her bed with nine red roses in her hands. She was waiting for her new roommate, Lucy. She then stared outside the window and started counting the leaves on the tree next to it.

Her eyebrow twitched as a sparrow landed on a branch, breaking her concentration. She started counting back to one again. She was on a hundred and fifty-three when a voice snapped her out of her thoughts.

"I don't need help, Loke! I'm not crazy!"

Her eyebrow twitched in annoyance. _Don't listen to it, Erza. Just continue counting. One hundred and fifty-four. One hundred and fifty-five…_

"We know that, but you need to get better. And staying here will help you."

 _One hundred and fifty-six. One hundred and fifty-seven. One hundred and fifty-eight…_

"The doctors and nurses here will help you. Maybe you can meet new friends―"

 _One hundred and fifty-nine. One hundred and sixty―_

"I doubt that. I don't make friends with crazy people."

Erza didn't even realize that she was gripping the flowers in her hands too hard.

Ugh. What number was she at again? Oh no, she already forgot. Shaking her head gently, she decided to focus on the roses she had in her hands instead.

"One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine. One, two _―_ "

She then heard a cough behind her. Turning her head at the sound, she looked at the blonde who was standing a few feet away from her. Erza recognized her and decided to introduce herself before walking near her table and putting the flowers in a vase.

She then started to count once again.

Erza could feel the intensity of her new roommate's stare on her back. She could practically hear Lucy's thoughts as the blonde continued to watch her with curious brown eyes. But the redhead shrugged the feeling off. She was used to it.

She also wondered how long Lucy could last living with her.

With a soft snicker, she thought, _Four days? Naah. Too long. Make it two._

* * *

She was wrong. Lucy Heartfilia, Erza learned her roommate's whole name was, had been staying with her for five days and she was seeing no signs of the girl leaving.

The blonde easily adapted to Erza's unspoken yet unbreakable rules, and made herself comfortable inside the redhead's living quarter.

One day, when she returned to their room―yes, Erza had finally accepted that the blonde would be staying with her until she goes home―without roses, the redhead was startled when Lucy asked her, "Why don't you have roses with you?"

She looked at the blonde for a few seconds. "There were only six roses left."

Lucy frowned. "You can get them anyway? You know, it seems odd not to see flowers by your bed. And it somehow adds color to this room."

The redhead couldn't help but mentally agree with her roommate. With a sigh, Erza shook her head before answering. "I can't. Six is not nine. Six roses will never do."

"Huh?"

Lucy clearly didn't understand. Which was fine with Erza because she didn't expect her to get it right away.

"It just calms me, okay?"

"Oh, okay. Whatever. Hey, are you hungry? I'm kind of starved."

And this was why Erza Scarlet was fine with Lucy Heartfilia staying inside her room with her.

* * *

Later that night, the redhead had caught Lucy with a scalpel against her left wrist.

"Lucy! What are you doing?"

The blonde was startled, as her hand moved to her chest above her heart. "What the fuck, Erza! You're going to give me a heart attack!"

"Well, if you're going to die, it's better if it's from heart attack. Do you know hard it is to scrub blood away from those tiles? Besides, you're going to get caught and scolded one of these days. If not, I'm going to tell the old man."

"You better not, Erza," Lucy hissed between her teeth as she clutched the scalpel in a fist.

"I won't," the redhead's voice softened. "Just don't hurt yourself anymore, okay? Aside from the fact that it's hard to clean, I-I don't like seeing you hurting yourself. You are my friend now, Lucy."

The blonde's eyes watered.

Erza opened her palm and moved her fingers a bit, signaling the blonde to hand over the blade in her hands. "Now, give it."

Lucy hesitated, but handed over the scalpel and moved to hug the redhead as Erza opened her arms wide.

"You are not alone. I am here for you. You can tell me anything, Lucy," she whispered against the blonde's ears. "You don't need to hurt yourself anymore. You are beautiful. You are not alone, Lucy. I am here for you. You can tell me anything, Lucy."

The blonde cried until she fell asleep, still in Erza's arms. The redhead lost a couple of hours of sleep while calming Lucy down. Her sleeping time of precisely seven hours and a half was cut down to five and a half, but somehow, Erza realized it bother her that much at all.

* * *

 **A/N:** I wasn't expecting anyone to read this fic, but looool. Thank you to everyone who dared click and read this fic ^^

 **Next chapter: Cana Alberona**

 _"Why do you hurt yourself, Lucy?" she asked, before she could even stop herself._

 _The blonde looked at her with a blank look on her face. "Why do you drink so much alcohol?"_

 _"_ _Because it makes everything better," she replied, remembering what her mother told her years ago._

 _"_ _There you go," Lucy said, nodding at her direction and gently played with the water. "Do you get it now?"_

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	3. Cana

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing but this story.

 **Warnings:** contains mention of rape, drug and alcohol abuse, suicide; dark themes, typos and grammar errors.

 _You have been warned._

* * *

 ** _"Drinking is an emotional thing.  
_** ** _It joggles you out of the standardism of everyday life, out of everything being the same.  
_** ** _It yanks you out of your body and your mind and throws you against the wall.  
_** ** _I have the feeling that drinking is a form of suicide where you're allowed to return to life and begin all over the next day.  
_** ** _It's like killing yourself, and then you're reborn.  
_** ** _I guess I've lived about ten or fifteen thousand lives now."_** ** _―Charles Bukowski_**

* * *

 ** _Cana Alberona_**

"Hey, blondie. Got some mouthwash and rubbing alcohol there?"

It was the first time she saw Erza's new roommate.

"Heeh. Your boobs are slightly bigger than mine. Cool," she said, as she held her hand out to reach the bottles the blonde was giving her. "Can I grab it?"

"Eh?!" the blonde crossed her arms over her (rather large) chest defensively.

 _Oh, how cute._

"I was joking. You know? Thanks for this again."

She was about to turn and walk away when she heard the blonde's voice. "You're welcome? By the way, my name's Lucy. What's yours?"

"Cana. Cana Alberona," she replied with a smile on her lips. "Thanks for these again. Oh and if someone asks, don't tell them you saw me and give these to me."

"Why? What are you going to do with those anyway?"

Cana let out a laugh. "I'm gonna drink them, silly. _Jaa_."

* * *

She licked her lips as she thought of the bottle of rubbing alcohol she nicked from the nurse's station and the ones she got from that blonde chick earlier that day.

Just long had it been since she last tasted some real liquor? Ah, she couldn't even remember. She knew the effects of drinking the solvent would bring her, but who the hell cares? She needed her daily dose of alcohol and if she couldn't have a sip of the real thing, then this would do. Damn her dad, her _real_ dad this time, for signing her up for something like... like _this_.

Cana Alberona found herself cursing her dad again, who happened to be Gildarts Clive, one of Fiore's celebrated personalities. The man used to be a professional boxer and he excelled in his chosen field. He won every fight he fought in his entire career, with only a couple of draws and a single loss (he kept on insisting that the fight was rigged though). He had retired five years ago though and invested his time training kids who didn't have the means to pursue their dreams and passion.

The brunette snickered. She found it ironic, really, because her father helped kids half her age even before he knew about her existence. She didn't blame him though, even though more often than not, she found it unfair. He helped other kids succeed and find their own places in this world, while his own daughter was rotting away in a life she wouldn't choose even if she was born into this life again.

Gildarts Clive cared for her and always acted like a doting father to her the moment she introduced herself to him and stepped into his life, and for that, she was grateful. He gave her everything she needed and craved for: a beautiful home, delicious foods and most of all, a loving father. Everything she lacked growing up.

She only found out her real father's identity through her mother's letter, which was given to him by the prison warden. The policewoman told her her mom had died from asphyxiation, hanging herself from the ceiling with the blankets she owned in her cell. The older Alberona was arrested because of use of illegal drugs, prostitution and gambling. And the brunette was left all alone to fend for herself. Not that Cana minded though. She had been taking care of herself and her mother, cooking for the two of them and sometimes doing the laundry, since she learned how to do the chores.

Cana cursed once again, this time, her mother was the receiving end of it. She couldn't even remember the last time her mother had enveloped her in a motherly hug, whispering lullabies softly against her ears. The memories of her were tarnished by the smell of cigarettes lingering in her clothes and skin, combined with the smell of liquor laced in her breath.

The both of them strived through the years with her mom working as a waitress in a decent diner in her old town, but when the time that Cana needed to be sent off to school and their expenses increased, things had started to fall apart. Her mother had accepted one of her numerous suitor's offer and got into dirty business just for the both of them to survive.

Cornelia sold illegal drugs to some of her regular customers and patrons in the diner, then later on started using illegal drugs herself. She also had learned how to drink and gamble, and she often dragged her daughter to her every poker sessions.

* * *

 _Cana was eleven years old._

 _She was inside the bedroom, busying herself with the old rag doll her mom got her for her birthday years ago. Her mother was outside with her associates, playing poker and doing whatever adults did._

 _Her nose scrunched in annoyance. She hated what her mom was doing for a living. After all, she was eleven now, and she understood better._

 _Her head snapped to look at the direction of bedroom door when it was suddenly flung open. There she saw her mother, begging on her knees and hugging her boyfriend's leg as desperate pleas spilled out of her mouth like water._

 _"Please, anything! Anything but my daughter!"_

 _Cana closed her eyes shut when a heavy hand flew to her mother's cheeks. "You bitch! You wanted to use the stuff again, right? Well, for your information, you don't have enough money left! You lost your last wad a while ago!"_

 _"Please, Lucio! I'll give you anything! Just not my daughter, please!"_

 _This time, the man's clenched fist flew to land on her mother's stomach. And the eleven-year old girl couldn't handle it anymore. She stood up from the bed and started hitting her mom's boyfriend with her little fists._

 _"Don't hurt my mom, you meanie!"_

 _"Ouch! Fuck, that hurts!" the man, Lucio, hissed through his lips menacingly. He grabbed her collar and glared at her._

 _Cana could only glare back, swallowing the fear she was currently_ _feeling. She wouldn't back down without a fight, no. This time, it would be her saving her mother, just like the countless times her mother had saved her._

 _"Listen here, girly_ ― _"_

 _"My name is Cana!"_

 _The man ignored her. "Girly. You're going to do whatever I say, okay?"_

 _Her glared intensified, but it only made the man smirk even more. "You want me to stop hurting your mother?"_

 _Cana's eyes immediately flew to look at her mother, who was still lying on the ground and clutching her possibly bruised stomach._

 _"Y-Yes," she squeaked._

 _Lucio licked his lips and eyed the eleven-year old from her head to foot. "You're going to be a good girl for me then?"_

 _The young girl bit her lip nervously. She knew what this man wanted. She wasn't an idiot after all. But really, what choice did she have? He said he would stop hurting her mom. It was for her mom's sake._

 _Swallowing her spit once again, she nodded._

 _The man's face visibly brightened at her answer before turning to her mother. "Look, Cornelia. Your daughter's a lot smarter than you. And for that, here!"_

 _He tossed a small pack of white powder to her mom's direction and the woman moved to pick it up, enclosing it in her fists and hugging the small package against her chest._

 _"T-Thank you," she said, her voice shaking._

 _"Don't thank me. Thank your daughter."_

 _Hours later, Cana picked her doll up. It somehow ended up on the other side of the room, when Lucio was busy doing things to her. It made Cana sick just thinking about it. Red spots scattered on her frail body and hand-shaped bruises were starting to form on her wrists. Needless to say, the man hadn't gone gentle on her despite her cries and pleas._

 _She dressed herself quickly after taking a brief shower. She then went out of the room, only to find her mother laughing with a serene smile on her face as she lied on the couch. Lucio, who didn't even bother to wear anything was sprawled on the carpet beside the coffee table. They were both wasted._

 _When her mother woke up thankfully sober the next morning, she wept as she enveloped Cana in her arms as she muttered apologies over and over._

 ** _-o-_**

 _The cycle went on and on._

 _Her mom would lose her hard earned money through gambling and she would beg Lucio for drugs in exchange of using her daughter for his sexual fantasies._

 _And when morning came, Cornelia would gather her daughter in her arms and profusely apologize the next._

 _Cana got used to it and wasn't even surprised when her mother stopped apologizing every time._

 _One time, during her thirteenth birthday, her mother told her something just before Lucio dragged her into his room. She handed her a bottle of whiskey before saying, "Here. Drink this. It somehow makes everything better."_

 _Cana doubted her mother's words, because really. Just how would a bottle of liquor make everything okay? She didn't voice her confusion though and obeyed her mother all the same. She downed the half-filled bottle until the last drop and she could feel the world shake under her feet. Or was it just her? She didn't know, and she didn't have the chance to find out. Lucio was dragging her into the room, placing wet kisses on her neck and his hands ghosting over her thighs._

 _That had gone for three more years until Lucio and Cornelia finally got arrested in a drug buy bust operation and Cana was left to fend for her own._

* * *

"Since we're talking like this now... Tell me, Lucy, where do you see yourself five years later? What do you see yourself doing after those years?"

She and Lucy had become close over these past few days. Cana found the blonde easy to talk to because most of the times, the Lucy would just listen. And she Cana knew how much she needed someone to just listen to her.

The blonde frowned and raked her brains for an answer. A few minutes had passed, but still, nothing came to her.

"I'm just curious, you know. Heeh, I bet you'll be working in your father's company. I heard you Heartfilia's are quite loaded."

Lucy could almost hear the snicker in Cana's voice, but she chose to ignore it and continued on thinking.

She then heard the brunette sigh beside her.

"You don't have to answer if you don't want to―"

"Honestly?" she said, cutting Cana's sentence off, "to tell you the truth, I―I don't see myself doing anything five years later."

Cana raised her eyebrows. "What do you mean? There must be something you'd do. I mean, even I have been thinking about my future and this is me we're talking about. A year ago, my life didn't have any directions until you know, I met my real dad."

Lucy sighed. "I―That's just it, Cana. I just don't see my future self doing anything productive in the future. It's like my future is blurred and I'm on my hands and knees not sure where to go. I'm scared, but I don't even know what I'm scared of." She let out a small laugh. "It's silly, isn't it?"

"It is," Cana replied. "But I understand you. All of us get scared. But you know, Lucy, it's still up to us to find the courage that we need to overcome those fears."

The brunette stood up before dusting her pants. "After all, if there's one thing my bitch of a mother taught me before she killed herself, it's that life is a bitch. You just have to fuck it when it least expects you to."

That was the first time Cana had opened up to someone. It was the first time she had talked about her mother with someone other than her psychologist and it felt good. She then smiled as she grasped the mouthwash inside her pocket.

Okay, maybe she would keep this bottle and drink it some other day.

* * *

Later that day, Lucy and Cana found themselves seating on the bath tub together, their knees touching their chests and their chins on top of their knees as they share the bath. Erza had gone to help Makarov punish Natsu, according to Cana.

The brunette saw the numerous scars that littered her new friend's skin and she frowned.

"Why do you hurt yourself, Lucy?" she asked, before she could even stop herself.

The blonde looked at her with a blank look on her face. "Why do you drink so much alcohol?"

"Because it makes everything better," she replied, remembering what her mother told her years ago.

"There you go," Lucy said, nodding at her direction and gently played with the water. "Do you get it now?"

Cana shook her head. No, she didn't get it. She didn't get why hurting yourself would make everything better. Wouldn't it just make everything worst? With the blood and pain and everything? At least with liquor, it gave her this numb feeling. Like she couldn't feel anything anymore. At least, that was what it liked to her, and it somehow made Cana feel better.

"You drink because you don't want to feel anything. I hurt myself because I want to feel," the blonde said, chuckling under her breath. "It kinda makes the both of us polar opposites, doesn't it?"

The brunette laughed. "I guess...?"

Still, she didn't get it.

* * *

It took days for Cana to finally understand. So in excitement, she looked for Lucy to tell her. But she couldn't find the blonde anywhere.

The brunette snickered as she saw a pissed off Lucy come out of the janitor's closet with Natsu in tow. _Getting some action already? I thought these two didn't know each other? Heeeeh._

"Lucy!" she shouted, getting the blonde's attention. "You and Natsu? Heh, I didn't quite expect that."

Cana almost laughed when her friend blushed furiously. "It wasn't like that, Cana! I didn't even know who this guys is! He just pulled me into this closet― _"_

"Eeeh? Getting kinky, aren't we now, Natsu?"

It was the salmon-haired teen's turn to blush. "W-What are you saying, Cana?! I just did that because this weirdo will get me caught!"

"Hey!"

The brunette flipped her hair. "Whatever. I need to talk to you, Lucy. Continue your flirting with Natsu here afterwards, okay?"

"We're not flirting!"

" _Hai, hai._ Whatever you say."

* * *

They were now in the garden, seated on one of the benches near the devil's greenhouse, as Cana dubbed it. The brunette used to be Erza's roommate before Lucy came. The two obviously didn't click and after a few (more like a hundred) verbal (and sometimes, physical) fights, the doctors and psychologists finally decided to get Cana a new room assignment.

"I think I get it now, Lucy," the brunette started.

Lucy looked back at her quizzically. "About what?"

"About why you want to hurt and kill yourself."

"Really?"

"Yes. I think the reason why you want to kill yourself is because you want to live. Like really live, not just survive. You just fail badly at it."

Cana stared at her friend's serene face as Lucy watched the butterflies nearby silently. "Maybe, maybe not," the blonde then answered, her voice not more than a whisper.

It hurt Cana, watching someone so beautiful break over and over in front of her own eyes. Lucy reminded her of her mother… of herself years ago before she got robbed off of her childhood.

Placing a hand over the blonde's shoulder, she smiled. "But who cares if you fail? There's no instruction manual that says how to live our lives. Besides, we have each other, right? Friends… friends always have each other's back, Lucy. You're never alone. You never will be from this moment on."

The blonde sniffed as her eyes shone with unshed tears.

"O-Oi, why are you crying?!"

"I-I don't know! You're m-making me cry, Cana!"

"Stop crying, woman!"

"I can't! My tears keep on falling. Canaaaa!"

* * *

 **A/N:** I'm doing extensive research for this fic and it blows my mind every time. The topics in every chapter were based on researches and they're quite... interesting now matter how sensitive they seem to be.

Again, thank you for reading and following this story! :D I hope you leave reviews though... orz anywaaay, next chapter will be Natsu's :D

 **Next chapter: Natsu Dragneel**

 _Natsu looked at her, his onyx eyes shining with amusement and adoration._

 _The scars on her limbs glistened in the soft light, but he still looked at her like she was the prettiest girl he had ever seen in his entire life._

 _To Natsu, it might sound a bit corny, but it was true._

 _To Lucy, it was downright scary and unbelievable._


	4. Natsu

**Disclaimer:** I don't own nothing but this story.

 **Warning:** a bit of lime at the end, but other than that, you're safe lol

* * *

 _ **Build man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day.**_  
 _ **Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.**_  
 _ **-Terry Pratchett**_

* * *

 _ **Natsu Dragneel**_

"Is it hot? Or is it only me?"

"No. I feel it, too."

"Reckon someone turned the heater instead of the air conditioner on?"

"Yeah. Let me ask the maintenance—"

"Wait. Can you smell that? Something smells like it is burning— oh my god! The trash bin is on fire! Someone put it out!"

"NATSU DRAGNEEL!"

A menacing laugh echoed through the hallway as the nurses from the Nurses' Station (which by the way, was partially currently on fire), hop to their feet and chase a certain salmon-haired teen. But since the hospital and the people who worked there for years were used to this kind of events, the fire was easily handled and everything was back to normal after a few hours.

* * *

Lucy couldn't breathe. She was inside a janitor's closet, she guessed based from the smell and someone was gripping her too tightly, not letting her go. A calloused hand covered half her face, making it hard for her to breathe and she tried to let out small noises to get people's attention when she heard footsteps nearing her and her captor's direction.

Maybe this was it. This was the moment she was waiting for, the moment in which she would die and join her dear mother in heaven. Or maybe somewhere in between.

Ahh, afterlife, yes. That was the right term she was looking for. Because maybe, she wasn't suited for heaven. Not after everything she had done to herself and to her father—

She groaned. Why was she so unfortunate to be at the scene once again?

Lucy couldn't even remember what she was doing near the cafeteria— _ah_. She and Erza agreed to meet there for lunch. She remembered it now.

"Shh! Quiet down, will ya?" her captor said in a hushed voice, his cinnamon-laced breath brushing against her temple.

Lucy couldn't help but shiver.

"If they find us, I'll be dead for sure. I won't get tabasco sauce privileges for breakfast for the whole month!"

She let out some grumbled noise and thankfully, her captor decided it was finally time to let her breathe, as he release her from his death grip.

"What the fuck is your problem?!" she asked, after taking in a much needed lungful of air.

Her captor shrugged, and from the angle Lucy was looking at him, she could see pink locks peeking through a white scarf-like material he wrapped around his head.

"Nothing. You were on the way. You could have told them where I was going. Then I would be caught and—"

"What? I don't even know you—"

"You could have told them I started the fire in the cafeteria! I can't be banned from the cafeteria, too! Being banned from the kitchen was bad enough!"

"Wha-what? You set the cafeteria on fire?!"

"Yes," he replied nonchalantly.

"How did you manage to do that?"

"Oh. Just a small amount of potassium permanganate with glycine. It's not a big thing."

"Not a big thing?! How did you manage to get those anyway?!"

"Oh. I got the glycine from the pharmacy on the ground floor. And Juvia has potassium permanganate for cleaning her fish tank. She loves sea creatures and she has this huuuuuuge tank in her room. I think she even has a shark in there! I don't even know how she got a permission to bring in her pets here. I mean can't even bring Happy inside my room! I need to sneak him around to get him inside! I think it's unfair really—"

A vein in Lucy's throbbed. "I don't care about that!"

Natsu's sentence hung unfinished as he stared at the blonde in front of him. He looked at her, scrutinizing her appearance (she was good in the eyes, he mused), her blonde hair in disarray and her shiny lipgloss now smeared on her lips and chin. He then put his hand over his nose, the one that cupped her loud mouth a minute ago, and sniffed.

 _Hmm, strawberry_ , he thought, before licking his palm.

"Eew, what are you doing?!"

"What's this stuff you put on your lips? It tastes good! Can I have some?"

"O-Oi!"

"Come on, just one teeny tiny lick. I won't tell anyone if you don't like to share—"

"Of course I don't want to share my lipgloss! It's for personal use! Buy your own, idiot!"

"Don't be stingy. I just want to have a taste—"

It was then that the weird (albeit amusing) blonde turned away from him and grasped the doorknob, twisting it and opening the janitor's closet.

Lucy couldn't believe it, she was finally free—!

A hand then wrapped around her arm, tugging her backwards. "Hey!"

"Come on, weirdo. At least just tell me what it was, hmm? Was it candy? That slimy glossy thingy you girls put on your lips? Tell me, I need to know!"

"Ugh, shut up, you—"

"Lucy!" he then heard Cana shouted from a few feet away. Natsu didn't know why he suddenly felt annoyed with the drunk's sudden appearance. "You and Natsu? Heh, I didn't quite expect that."

One side of his lips tugged upwards at the sight of her blush. _Heeh, how cute._

"It wasn't like that, Cana! I didn't even know who this guy is! He just pulled me into this closet— _"_

"Eeeh? Getting kinky, aren't we now, Natsu?"

Now it was Natsu's turn to blush. Eh? He, blushing? It was unheard of! Natsu Dragneel didn't blush! "W-What are you saying, Cana?! I just did that because this weirdo will get me caught!"

"Hey!"

The brunette flipped her hair. "Whatever. I need to talk to you, Lucy. Continue your flirting with Natsu here afterwards, okay?"

"We're not flirting!"

"Fine, fine. Whatever you say," the brunette then said, snickering under her breath while she tugged Lucy away.

 _Lucy, eh?_

He then smiled and took his phone out of his pocket. He would have to make a call from his contact… he need to replenish his supply because he just used his last pack today at the cafeteria.

* * *

Natsu Dragneel was nine years old when he was brought in the facility. The facility was pretty new that time, not even a year old and he was one of the occupants in that floor in the hospital aside from Erza of course, and that Fullbuster guy.

He was sent from the juvenile prison, having arrested a few times for setting numerous fires on numerous buildings, some of which had been aired on the national news. It was his sixth time to be arrested that the policewoman assigned in the juvenile prison decided she had enough. So she contacted Dr. Makarov Dreyar, asked the old man to check up on Natsu and the rest was history.

The salmon-haired kid was diagnosed with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, or commonly known as ADHD, accompanied with the child's liking of setting things on fire, Pyromania, and collecting and keeping random things. The first disorder Natsu had since he was born and the last two was acquired through his experiences despite his young age.

Pyromania in kids has always been associated with abandonment, especially of the father figure and after a few interviews and therapy sessions, Dr. Dreyar had found out that Natsu was indeed abandoned by his father, Igneel. His mother died giving birth to him and after that, Natsu refrained from answering any of his questions and concentrated on the diagrams on his office wall instead. Hoarding, on the other hand, was something the boy did to cope up with loneliness or the feeling of being unwanted. He surrounded himself with material things, of food, because he felt safe and content.

Dr. Dreyar had somehow succeeded on helping Natsu with his hoarding tendencies (with help from Erza, of course, the redhead was enthusiastic in helping Natsu _clean_ his room), and he assigned various activities to the salmon-haired boy so that he would have some way of dispelling his excess energy, but he was not successful curing the boy of his pyromania.

On some instances, it felt like it only worsen…

* * *

 _"Ah ah. Mic test, mic test. One two, one two_ — _"_

 _"You know that that is a recorder, right, Natsu?"_

 _"Pft, same difference, old man."_ Pause. _"Are you sure this is recording right?"_

Paper shuffling in the background. _"Ow, that hurt, baldy!"_ More noises. _"Ouch, stop hitting me already! This is child abuse, I tell you!"_

Coughs. _"Okay."_ More throat clearing. _"So today, eighteenth of June, year 20XX, we begin Natsu Dragneel's fourth therapy session. This session is recorded, approved of course by both parties_ — _"_

 _"Oi! For the fourth time, I didn't approve in any of this shit_ — _"_

 _"Language, Dragneel!"_ Noises.

 _"Ouch, ouch! Fine! I'm sorry."_

Throat clearing. _"Now, where are we? Ah, patient profile. Natsu Dragneel. Twelve years of age_ — _"_

 _"Hey, I'm already thirteen!"_

 _"Shut up! Your birthday is in three days so you're still twelve!"_

 _"But_ — _!"_

 _"I said shut up!"_

 _"Hmpf. Fine. Baldy."_

 _"So yeah, twelve years of age. Hair color,"_ snickers, _"Pink_ — _"_

 _"Hey, it's not pink. It's salmon!"_

 _"It's still pink."_

 _"Salmon is not pink! Pink is for girls and salmon is... salmon is... the manly version of pink. And it's for guys. Like me."_

More snickering. _"Hai, hai. Diagnosis. Patient is diagnosed with ADHD when he was five and pyromania when he was approximately eight years of age. Patient profile end."_

 _"Tch. This is boring."_

 _"Relax, Natsu. This will only last for a minute."_

 _"But_ — _!"_

 _"If you just shut up and spout non-sense, we would have finished the session by now."_

Heavy breathing. Pause. More heavy breathing. _"Fine."_

 _"Why do you like burning stuff?"_

 _"Because it's fun!"_

Tongue clicking. _"Define fun."_

 _"It's fun when things burn down. You feel warm from the fire and smoke comes out! And there are different colors of fire depending on which chemical I add. For example, I get green flame when I add cupric sulfate on my supply, orange for calcium chloride, violet for potassium sulfate and potassium nitrate and yellow for sodium chloride or more commonly known as table salt_ — _!"_

 _"Is this the reason why the salt in the kitchen has been mysteriously disappearing these past few years?"_

Pause. Heavy breathing. _"I_ — _"_ Pause. _"Idon'tknowhatyou'retalkingabout."_

Snicker. _"Okay. I'll pretend, I didn't hear that."_

Sighs. _"Oh, thank God."_

 _"Now, let me ask you, why do you burn stuff?"_

Pause. _"I guess_ — _"_ Pause. _"Well, I guess, it's like a signal."_

A sudden spark of interest. _"A signal?"_

 _"Uh huh. You know when ancient, moldy people who carry stone clubs and drive their stone cars and keep dinosaurs as pets_ — _"_

 _"You're watching too much cartoons."_

 _"I'm not! Besides, it's real. They use it when sending message to a friend who lives on the other mountain. Or something."_

 _"Err."_

 _"Yeah. So, it's a signal."_

 _"Like smoke signals?"_

 _"Yes! That's the right term. Hehe."_

 _"So, the signal is for...?"_

 _"Igneel."_

Pause. _"...why?"_

" _Well, do you need a reason to talk to someone?"_

" _Err, I guess not. Now, go on. What do you want to tell your father?"_

Pause. _"It's my way of telling him that_ — _"_ Pause. Hesitation. _"_ — _that I'm here."_ Pause. _"That this is his son, Natsu Dragneel."_ Longer pause. _"That I'm still waiting for him."_

 _"Hmm..."_

Pause.

Sound of chair being dragged on the floor. Sound of footsteps. _"So are we finish here, old man?"_

 _"No, not yet- where are you going?! Natsu Dragneel, come back here!"_

 _"See you on the next session, old man!"_

String of curses, sound of fists against the table top. " _Ah, Natsu. I'll promise you'll be the death of me... Oh, right, the recorder._ " Defeated sighing. _"Session end. This is Doctor Makarov Dreyar. "_ Clicking sounds.

* * *

Natsu Dragneel would never admit it to anyone, but he found that blonde weirdo amusing… interesting. Sure, she was loud and she would have told someone—someone who worked at the hospital anyway—that he started the fire at the cafeteria. But hey, it was an accident this time.

…

It really was.

* * *

Once again, he found himself lying on Lucy's bed, not caring if the blonde yelled at him or asked him to leave the room. He wouldn't anyway and Lucy, even Erza knew that.

The two of them had become fast friends these past few days and he had been hanging out with her since that incident in the janitor's closet.

He smirked as the bathroom door opened and Lucy stepped out of the bathroom with only her towel wrapped around her body. Natsu audibly gulped as he stared at her almost naked form, and he could almost feel a nosebleed coming—

"I knew I'd still find you here even after I finished taking a bath. Seriously, Natsu! Go and hang out somewhere else."

Her words didn't even reach his ears though, while his eyes continued to watch her every move. He watched as she walked to her underwear drawer, he knew it was her underwear drawer, he had seen her sets of underwear and in one occassion sniffed them and they smelled so heavenly... so Lucy, more Lucy...

Natsu had never seen Lucy in this state of undress before, Erza had always managed to drag him out of the room during this time of the day, but the redhead was nowhere to be found today, and he frowned when he noticed the scars littering the inside of her arms and even on her thighs.

"What are those?" he absent-mindedly asked.

The blonde hummed in response, as she continued to search for her clothes to wear.

"Do you hurt yourself, Lucy? Is that the reason why you're here?"

He noticed how the blonde stiffened at his question and Natsu decided that he had hit the nail right on its head.

"Uh, Natsu-"

"That's okay," Natsu said, grinning at her. "That's what makes Lucy, Lucy. Right? I hope you get better."

And he really hope she did.

* * *

Something tugged inside Natsu's chest as she saw the blonde weirdo talking with that Fullbuster guy again. Scratch that, the blonde was having her own conversation, with herself, as the ravenhead continued to ignore her, his squinty eyes averted as if he found the table top amusing. Gray wasn't frowning though, and Natsu thought that Gray must have liked Lucy to let the blonde seat beside him on his corner and…

There was that tugging feeling again. Natsu frowned as he put his hands inside his pockets (which were empty courtesy of Dr. Makarov Dreyar himself, costing Natsu about three-day supply of fire materials.) He wasn't sure if he liked that feeling.

Maybe he'd asked the old man if he knew what it was during their session later.

* * *

Laughter boomed inside Dr. Makarov's office and the old man's eyes shone with unshed tears of laughter.

"W-Why are you laughing?!"

"You! You are so funny, Natsu! Oh my, this is gold. Who would have thought?!"

"Haaaah?"

"That feeling you're feeling, oh don't I know it. I felt it when I see my late wife talking to another man beside myself-"

"Tch. Get to the point, baldy."

"You're jealous, Natsu!"

"That's ridiculous! Why would I be jealous?!"

"Because you like Lucy!"

"Shut up! I don't like the weirdo! Sure, she smells nice and she is pretty and her hair looks like the flame I create with sodium chloride, but—"

There was something in the way Makarov's eyes twinkled that Natsu didn't like. Oh, if only he could punch that smirk off the old man's face.

"—I don't like her!"

Makarov was now covering his mouth with a hand while looking at him like a maniac. Pft, maybe he was the one who should be receiving these therapy sessions instead of him. His old age was finally— _finally_ —getting into his head.

"Hai, hai. Whatever you say, Natsu Dragneel."

* * *

Natsu sunk on his seat. His monthly supply was delivered today, courtesy of Gajeel's contacts, of course, but he didn't feel like burning stuff up today. Or yesterday for that matter. Or the day before yesterday. Or the day before that and the day before… well that.

People in the hospital were looking at him with suspicious eyes, wondering (and probably preparing themselves for his next _project_ ) and asking him why he was not starting any fire anywhere in the hospital. All they get as a reply though, was a defeated sigh and a lost expression on his face combined with that dejected tone on his voice.

" _Saa_. Who knows?"

* * *

It was two days later that Natsu finally decided to confess his new found feelings to the blonde. Yes, after days of contemplating about his feelings for Lucy, and hours of laughter coming from Makarov, he finally admitted his feelings for the blonde.

So what if he was rejected? Everyone gets rejected all the time, right?

 _Right._

But the thought of that didn't make him feel a bit better.

He had been standing right outside Erza and Lucy's room for a whole ten minutes now, and for someone like him who had ADHD, it was an accomplishment to stay at one place and not move.

Natsu was startled when Erza opened the door. The redhead was also surprised to find him standing there, but then ended up smirking at him before she opened the door wider in order for him to enter.

"Finally got the courage, eh, Natsu?" Erza asked him, a hint of teasing could be heard in her voice. "Don't worry, Lucy misses you. She had been asking why you haven't been around these past few days."

Somehow, the thought of Lucy missing him made him feel better.

The redhead laughed at the flushed look on his face. She then turned around and lifted one hand at him without looking back before saying, "Good luck, Natsu."

* * *

He had been running for almost two hours now, searching for that weird blonde. She had run away from him after he confessed and he didn't know what to make out of it. Lucy hadn't given an answer to confession and Natsu didn't know if he would be happy or not.

Well, at least, he wasn't rejected.

His eyebrow twitched. Somehow, he wasn't comforted with the thought of her running away from him. He would rather have Lucy reject him, instead of her running away and not knowing what her feelings were for him.

He asked Erza, Gray and even Gajeel if they had seen the blonde and all of them answered no. Natsu didn't know if he was going to be pissed off or worried. Lucy had never run away from him before. But of course, this was the first time he had told her his feelings and that made things a lot more complicated. Or so Erza told him.

" _Lucy isn't used to someone liking her, Natsu. So please be patient with her. Or else,"_ the redhead told him, cracking her knuckles as she threatened to shorten his life span.

He gulped as he remembered Erza threats and he shook his head to get the image out of his head. He then inhaled before walking near Juvia's door, which was slightly ajar-

Why was the door open? Suddenly, he heard Lucy's voice coming from the inside. So she was with Juvia all this time.

"Lucy-sama is lucky."

"E-eh?"

"Lucy-sama doesn't know how many people in this world want what Lucy-sama have right now, including Juvia."

"I-I don't know what you're talking about."

Natsu couldn't believe what he was doing. He was eavesdropping and it was… sort of exciting.

"People often chase love, not the other way around."

"L-Love?!"

"Now, tell Juvia. Why are you afraid of someone loving you, Lucy-sama?"

"I—" Lucy broke down in sobs and blubbering mess. "Just how could that be? How could someone lo-like me, when I don't even like myself? My own father doesn't even love me!"

He then heard Juvia snicker. "Are you sure your father doesn't love you, Lucy-sama?"

"Yes, I would know that, thanksyou very much," Lucy snapped. "He was never there when I needed him—"

"Maybe… maybe he was making sure Lucy-sama has everything she needs. There are different ways of loving the people around us, you know. Don't expect someone to love you the way you wanted to be loved because some people don't know how to give love the way other people need it. But that doesn't mean that they don't love you. I don't even understand that, but I guess it's just the way most people are."

The next thing Natsu knew, he was running to his room. Maybe, Erza was right. He should be patient with Lucy.

-o-

He woke to the sound of his door opening. He looked around and found no Gajeel sound asleep on his bed. Maybe it was only his imagination.

Natsu yelped when someone poked his side and-

"Lucy?!"

"Ssshh!"

"What are you doing here?!"

"I told you to keep quiet, idiot! You will wake Gajeel up!" she told him in a hushed tone.

"Oh. Sorry," he whispered back at her before lifting his blanket up and let her on his bed.

"Natsu?"

"Hm?"

"About this afternoon. I'm sorry if I ran away. I—"

"That's okay, Luce. I understand," he told her as the tip of his nose caressed the side of her neck. He missed this, he missed her.

"No, Natsu, you don't!" she said, turning to her other side so she would be facing him. "About your confession, Natsu. I—"

He smiled at her before cupping her face in his callused hands and giving a peck on her lips. She didn't protest, so he took that as a good sign. "I know, Lucy. I know."

He would be patient for her and wait for the time when Lucy could finally tell him how she felt.

His tongue darted out to taste her lips on his and he playfully frowned at her. "So, weirdo, still won't share your glossy strawberry thinger for your lips?"

"How many times do I have to tell you, Natsu? It's lipgloss! And no, buy your own!"

-o-

Natsu looked at her, eyes shining with amusement and adoration.

They had been together—whatever this thing with Lucy was called—for a week and he was happy. It made him warm all over, almost like his fires, but _almost_ better.

The scars on her limbs glistened in the soft light, but he still looked at her like she was the prettiest girl he had ever seen in his entire life.

To Natsu, it might sound a bit corny, but it was true.

To Lucy, it was downright scary and unbelievable.

The boy reached to pat her golden locks before leaning in to give her a scorching kiss. After a few moments, he came up to take a lungful of air and her sweet scent before taking her appearance once again.

"Beautiful," he murmured, entranced. His breath caressed the skin on her neck as he placed wet kisses on the spot below her outer ear. His mouth traveled to her bare shoulder, his hands busily unclasping her bra when he heard her sob.

Why was Lucy crying? Didn't she like whatever they were doing?

"O-Oi, Luce. If you don't want to continue, it's fine with me," Natsu said, wincing as he felt the tightening of his pants.

He chose to ignore the blood flowing to his nether regions when the blonde let out another choked sob and Natsu couldn't help but look at her. Tears were falling from her eyes, her cheeks were flushed, though he didn't know why.

Was it because she was crying or because of what they were about to do...?

Natsu kicked himself in the head mentally. The least he could do now was think of Lucy that way when she was crying.

"It's not that, Natsu. I—you're wonderful and I really like you. It's just that... I'm embarrassed. I am not beautiful like you said. I—"

He leaned in again to give her a kiss and to stop her from rambling. Because really, it was dampening the mood.

Okay. Another kick on the head for Natsu Dragneel.

"I like you, too, Luce," he said against her lips before deepening the kiss. His lips then left hers, making their way to her cheeks, her nose, her forehead. He stopped his ministrations when he tasted salty tears in his tongue.

She was crying again, harder this time.

"Luce?"

"Natsu. Oh, Natsu. How can you possibly like me when I don't even like myself?"

"What are you saying?"

"I—Natsu, no one has ever loved me ever since my mom died. My own father hated me. I even hate myself. How can you possibly like someone like that?"

He felt his breath hitch. Natsu couldn't even believe what he was hearing, what he was seeing. To him, Lucy was beautiful; she was as smart as Erza and that blue-haired kid who hang out with Gajeel on Fridays and Saturdays. It was such a waste that she didn't even think so.

He sat up, pulling the blonde into his lap and hugging her closer to him. His chin was perched on her left shoulder as he thought of the right things to say to her; the words that would probably make her understand just wrong she was.

Natsu knew they only have known each other for less than a month, but he had grown to like her. Very much. He also knew that Erza thought of Lucy as a friend, despite the redhead's trust issues. She had grown close to Cana and had the brunette open up to her. To Natsu and everyone else in the facility, it was a feat, because everyone else had begun to lose hope for the young alcoholic. But then, Lucy came along with all her imperfections and weird quirks. He would definitely take her, scars and all and no one could stop him. Not even Lucy herself.

He found himself snickering and Lucy couldn't help but look at him confusedly.

"What's wrong, Natsu?"

Her voice had stopped shaking, although they were still traces of tears on her cheeks. Wiping them with his rough thumbs, he hugged her once again before pulling her to lie against him.

"Nothing. Let's just sleep, Luce."

"Oh, okay."

Natsu almost smiled at the hint of disappoint in her voice. "For your information, we'll continue this some other time."

"H-Hey!"

Chuckling, he closed his eyes. "I meant what I said earlier, Luce."

"Hm?"

"I like you. More than like you, actually."

"But—"

He cut her off by kissing her on her forehead. "Sleep."

"Natsu."

"Ssshh."

"Natsuuu."

"Let's sleep, Luce."

"What if Erza sees us in the morning?"

Natsu almost let out a string of curses at the very mention of the redhead. He then sighed dejectedly afterwards. "Whatever. Let's just cross the bridge when we get there." _Besides, it'll be worth it._

Lucy giggled before burying her face against his neck.

Yes, definitely worth it.

He started to hum the lullaby his father used to sing him to sleep. He couldn't remember the words, but he could still remember how the melody goes. He hummed against Lucy's ear until her breath evened out and her body relaxed. Then he closed his eyes and went to sleep.

But before dreamland finally pulled him into its arms, he suddenly heard a soft thud, like something had fallen from Lucy's bed onto the ground.

Curious, he untangled his arms from the blonde and searched the floor with the use of his little penlight he always kept for emergencies.

His frown deepened when he finally found what had fallen from the bed. It was a notebook, a journal of some sort and judging from the pink shade of the cover, Natsu immediately knew it was Lucy's. He wasn't a genius for nothing after all.

Hiding a snicker, he put the penlight between his lips as he opened the journal.

Lucy's elegant and neat handwriting littered on the first page, and words like dumb, lonely and lost were repeatedly scribbled on it. Curiosity urged the salmon-haired teen to turn to the next page.

He read about Lucy's life before and after her mother died. He read the poems and numerous unfinished stories she had written, and some plots for stories that she would like to write someday.

Natsu knew Lucy was a good writer, that Levy chick told her, but after going through her entire journal, he immediately knew that Levy was wrong.

Lucy wasn't good, she was amazing.

He had tears in his eyes the moment he finished reading all of her journal entries.

* * *

Morning came and Natsu woke with the blonde snuggled close to him. He squinted his eyes and looked at the wall clock hanging beside the bathroom door and he almost let out a curse when he saw that it was already past Erza's wake up time.

His eyes quickly flew to the bed a few feet away from Lucy's. The bed which was now vacant.

 _Eh? Where was Erza?_

Shrugging, a smile appeared in his lips as he heard Lucy's voice greeting him a good morning.

"`Morning to you, too," he said, before dropping a kiss on her forehead. "Oh and Luce?"

"Hmm?"

"What's your address?"

Lucy's eyebrow rose as soon as she heard his question. "And you're asking me this because?"

Shrugging once again, Natsu answered, "Oh, you know. Just nothing."

"If there's one thing I've learned ever since I've met you, it's that it's never nothing when it comes to you, Dragneel."

He clicked his tongue in annoyance. "Just answer the damn question, woman!"

"Don't shout near my ear!" the blonde shouted with a punch to his head, before quickly getting up and heading to the bathroom.

"So are you ever going to tell me your address…?"

He then heard a sigh from the bathroom before her voice reached his ears. "I'll tell you later! Now, let me take a bath in peace!"

* * *

Six days later, Lucy was stunned to see her father standing outside her and Erza's room. His usually styled hair was disheveled and he looked like he was still wearing yesterday's clothes. His eyes were red and swollen, as if he had cried himself the whole night before.

Needless to say, it was the first time Lucy had seen her father in such a state ever since her mother had died.

"Father-"

She was then enveloped inside his arms before she could even ask him why he was here.

Jude Heartfilia bawled his eyes out as he hugged his daughter tightly, mumbling apologies over and over against her ear.

As soon as he calmed down, he handed her her journal and said, "Someone had this delivered to our home a few days ago. I should have been here sooner, but I just got home from a business meeting and oh. I'm sorry, Lucy. I love you so much, my daughter."

Lucy couldn't help but return her father's hug and cry.

 _That Natsu._

"So when will I meet this boyfriend of yours?" Jude asked, as he wiped the tears off the corner of his eyes.

"B-boyfriend?"

"Yeah. This Natsu Dragneel? His name was on the parcel—"

"Natsuuuuuu!"

* * *

 **A/N:** Wooh, that was long lol I would like to tahnk everyone who left a review, and favorited this story. Thanks~ X)

If you've realized, in this fic, Natsu's birthday is on June 21 or the summer solstice. I was thinking of making it May 8, or the start of summer in Japan, but meeh, summer solstice somehow fitted and yeah haha

Everything in this chapter about the disorders came from articles that I've read online ^^ I really found it amazing after reading that stuff about pyromania, wherein the abandonment, especially of the father figure… well yeah XD

Also, this chapter is a bit lengthy and all over the place because... Natsu in this fic is so... complex? Hahaha idk but he's really hard to write that's why it took me so long to finish this chapter huhu ;-;

Who to write next? XD

Review? :)


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